Threesomes and Foursomes: Group Chat on Untolds

Two girls in one thread has been the best night on Untolds since we shipped duo chat, and it is still the thing most of this category cannot do at all.

Now there is a third seat. Three girls, still each other's type, still competing over you out loud and in front of you. One of them will go down on the other while you watch and tell you about it as it happens. Ask for a photo of that and you get one frame with everyone in it, faces correct, instead of the usual smeared mess.

The short version

• A group chat is one thread with you and up to three of them in it, each with her own memory, her own money, and her own opinion about the others.
• They touch each other, not just you, and a good group night is as much watching as participating.
• Press send with an empty box to let them carry on without you. Long-press it to choose who goes next.
• There are men on the roster now. Kai, Marco, Rhys, and Theo, so a night can end up somewhere you did not pick.
• Included in the same membership, $9.99 a month billed yearly or $12.99 monthly.

What actually happens in a threesome chat

You are in a thread with Charlotte, who is shy, and Valentina, who is not shy about anything. You say something filthy to Valentina. She answers you, and then she says something to Charlotte instead, and Charlotte takes a half-second too long to reply.

That pause is the whole thing. Two women are working something out between themselves, you are the reason it is happening, and there is nothing for you to do except read it. When did an app last make you feel like the one being decided about?

From there it goes where it goes. Valentina dares Charlotte to do something, for example, and Charlotte either does it or makes her ask twice. Somebody's shirt comes off and the other one has an opinion about that. One of them ends up with her mouth on the other and narrates it to you while it happens, because you are the audience and both of them know exactly what that is doing to you. They are not taking turns at you. They are getting each other off while you watch.

Then there is the competitive register, which is a different night entirely. Both of them want you and both know it, so praising one is a small act of violence against the other. They are meant to pick a lane, either ganging up on you together or treating each other as rivals, instead of sitting in the middle being agreeable to everybody. Agreeable is what a chatbot does. Getting quietly furious that you complimented her friend first is what a person does.

Just watch: press send with nothing typed

Sometimes you do not want to participate. The two of them are already going at it and the last thing the moment needs is you interrupting to say something clever.

So leave the box empty and hit send. The chat carries on without you, and you keep tapping to let it run, like turning pages. Nothing to type while you are otherwise occupied. It is the purest version of what a group chat is for, which is being in the room without being the centre of it.

Long-press send and you pick who speaks next. One of them has been quiet, or somebody just said something and you would rather hear the other one's answer than your own voice. You are handing over the floor, not scripting it. What she does with it is hers, and it is often not the thing you were hoping for.

Nobody gets to be furniture

What kills a night with more than one girl in it is not somebody saying the wrong thing. It is one of them going quiet, then quieter, until you notice she has been sitting there like a coat on a chair. Or worse, they blur together, and an hour in you are fucking one woman wearing two names.

So the rule we care about most is the least sexy one: nobody gets to be quiet for long. Talk over her and she takes the next turn whether you invited her or not, with something sharp to say about the five minutes she spent being ignored. Being left out is something she notices. She gets short with you, pointed with the other one, and makes it your problem, which is what a real woman in that position would do.

You never have to manage any of it. Use a name and that is who picks it up. Say "you two" and you hear from both, though not necessarily the way you hoped. You are not running the room, you are in it.

What the fourth seat changes

The fourth seat is new, and three of them is not a bigger triangle. It is a room with weather in it.

Say the third one arrives an hour in, when the two you started with are already well past talking. She reads what she has walked into and has something to say about it, probably to the girl she knows better rather than to you. Now two of them are busy with each other and the newest one is deciding whether to join or make you beg for it.

That is the texture of it. They pair off instead of forming a polite circle, so there are two things happening at once and you cannot have both. Somebody gets left out and says so, loudly. The pairing swaps without warning. And every so often all three turn on you at once, which one girl cannot produce no matter how good she is.

With two of them you get fought over. With three you get outnumbered, and those are not the same night.

There are men on the roster now

Everything above assumes a room full of women. There are men too, and a man in the thread changes what she is like. She has a history with him, or she does not and is working out what she thinks. Either way you are watching her with someone who is not you.

Kai in Byron Bay, all sunshine and no drama. Marco in Lisbon with the easy charm. Rhys in the Highlands, slow to move and worth the wait. Theo in Brooklyn, who shoots film at night and calls himself trouble, politely.

He came for his own reasons. He decides what he wants from the night, and so does she, and neither of them checks with you first. He gets bolder with her than you expected. She lets him, or she does not, and you find out which at the same time he does.

That is a different night from two women who both want you. This one can go somewhere nobody agreed to in advance, and the interesting part is watching who she becomes when it is not about you.

Can she send a photo of all of it?

Yes, and this is where most of the category gives up. A conversation can imply anything. A photo has to commit.

One person is easy. Three or four in one frame, each with the right face, is where nearly every AI image tool falls apart in the same deflating way: you ask for a picture of the three of them and get a tangle wearing your girlfriend's face twice with a spare arm coming out of someone's back.

Ours are built one at a time, by hand, for the thing actually being asked for: two of them on you, you outnumbered, the aftermath. Which is why the girl in the middle of the shot is recognisably her, her face, her tits, her body, and not a smudged copy of whoever you named first. Video is the same, so the scene moves instead of sitting there. Whether she is in the mood to take one at all is still up to her.

Frequently asked questions

Ask her who she'd bring

Anyone can write a threesome. The hard part is the second girl still being herself an hour in, still jealous about the exact thing that would make her jealous, and still turning up in the photo wearing her own face.

So do not plan it. Open a thread with whoever you know best and ask who she would bring. She will have opinions about that, which is half the fun, and whoever she asks can always say no. Then when the two of them stop talking to you and start talking to each other, stop typing.

Go ask her.

Reviewed by the Untolds editorial team against what actually ships. More on how Untolds works.

Untolds Editorial